Subdiary: My Teenage Dream

I decide to write down this thing in simply way because i dont have much spirit after all other things that happen to me. Btw, its not follow the order which one i really want:

1. My own house.

I feel it should be easier. i dont need to collect coupon or hear they arguing about college rules towards each other and will not come to the office and appeal them with my sad face EVERy Sem in degree. I can cook, do my own thing in such a huge space & time- no need to rush go back home b4 12 or overnight doing assignment. Furthermore maybe itll help when i cant stand anymore looking someone behavior in my family house.its also a investment for my bachelor life. I hope i can find some house to rent.

2. Good result
of course... to give it to my parents. they never see me graduate with a good CGPA yet. at secondary school, im the one who sat between those last 2 row to get their graduate certificate. im totally down at that time although i looked though. my father said to me at that time: "its ok, you can do it better next time". b4 that i got his hug for the 1st time in my life coz he knew im totally down. so i target 3.65 and above every semester to maintain my CGPA.


3. More friends
i have many friends but maybe i dont have someone that close. i need some one who can share sad and fun moment,problems etc together. im also didnt have many male friends. it is not that i dont want to.. but from the secondary school, i have a good connection with girls bcoz they dont have many ego's & they willing to accept you. they also are the one who approach to me first in any circumstance and want to know me. in secondary school, its a total breakdown to me when some of my male friends misunderstood me as the one who ruined their relation with some other classmates although im the one who always try to make them happy and be friend with me. the backstabbed thing already solve but seems that im still outsider.

maybe im not a good friend although i already try all- to layback and let people come to me as friend and try harder to get friends. i can accept them whoever they are and forgive them if they have mistake. but will they accept me? thats why im always stay away from certain friends so i get time to do refelction what really happen.is it me-myself worth to them? so my target would be anyone who want to be my friends just approach me. we will do something crazy b4 graduate. we will hang out & celebrate anything together until we old and die ~

4. To be an entertainer
yes i love this field. i want to be a singer, actor, director and so many. but maybe i will focusing in writing and directing. i love to share with people stories, inspiring them with art & entertainment as a medium.i have so many ideas and talent to prove. so it will be my dream job. i need to take care of my family bcoz im the oldest son in my family. i know they hoping so much from me. it is sad to see my parents getting older & older but its time for me to repay them some appreciation.so i hope i have a chance to show my star.

5. to get out from my comfort zone
im always think that im a loser. i cant do this, i cant do that its because maybe i underestimate myself. when i try to step up, then other people around me are the one who will underestimated me. so its make me like dont have any courages. i dont have so many friends to support me. in sport, i try my best to do any sport although im used to be a fat guy, but the others including my sport teacher will look down on me.
its like im stuck to do anything that i want to try.

when im alone without anyone around like nobody will see me, i think im better to do anything. people will not judging, and im also no need support coz i know when there is no people around itll be all by myself. this thing goes same happen to driving car, try to go to audition & many more. btw guess who support me when im lagging far behind when running in field everytime in sport class? my female friends.
soi want to do something with it.i want to be good in sport. i want to try new things and challenge myself.

These 5 things i hope i can fulfill before my age turn to 25. this year ill be 22 yo. 3 more years will it happen or not?...my teenage dream............owh one more thing:


6. somebody to love.
family is other topic. this is about the one who will be my lover and always by my side. i will find someone later i dont want to rush, but if its my destiny, i will not let it go. i dont have specific characteristic- who ever can be my girlfriend, wife or soulmate but i hope she have a good / nice personality. if u want me to say like who i would say like Dato Siti Nurhaliza or Heliza Helmi. haha :P but its fate from Allah.

i dont care if she free hair or wearing "tudung" but if you become my wife u need to wear "tudung" bcoz its demand in my religion and as a good husband i must take care of her. i think i dont want any relation as a cliche normal new couple. if u want to know closer, lets know each other heart first "kenal hati budi" without any skin touched here & there- (usually normal people will do this touch, after break up theyll find another partner. i dont want 2nd hand :O unless not directly, already realize their mistake, or some circumstance).. after we become a pair of lover legally, we can make love everyday. B-) <3 my target to get marry is when im 25 years old to 30. but before that of course i need to find job, house and prepare myself.

p/s: sorry if my english is bad